I ride my bicycle

Ithacon 47 + Clown Bar 2

The Coney makes her escape in THE RED HOOK x DEAN HASPIEL — coming soon!

I ride my bicycle every day.

It's probably the ONLY exercise I get. And even that is paltry because I would actually get more exercise out of walking. But I don't have the luxury of time for travel. I've got too much to do. Besides, every time I steal work time away to actually walk from A to B, I often discover what has shuttered and what is opening up and it reminds me of what I'm losing and what I can no longer afford. It can be depressing what I don't enjoy in NYC anymore. So, like wearing a pair of horse blinds, I bike and the sidewalks become a blur of what once was and what will be.

I often ride my bike to Manhattan rather than take the subway because it's become too dangerous. Like getting on an airplane, where I basically surrender my life to a couple of pilots and pray to a god I don't believe in, I now employ the same prayers on the subway.

Whenever I enter a subway car, I walk in like Clint Eastwood's "Man With No Name" into a bar in A Fist Full Of Dollars. I survey each person's behaviors and quickly ascertain motivations as best I can. I read the room as if someone is going to whip out a pistol and start some static. NOT THAT I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. If something seems off, someone seems peculiar in a bad way, I deftly pull out my ball point pen, uncap it and turn it around, thumb against point, and prepare myself to jab a jugular. I don't want this to happen. I don't want to engage the crazy but I do want to get to my stop and off the train -- alive.

There have been a few incidents when I got into it. Screaming matches but, luckily, nothing physical. Yet.

I understand the trains are old and broken and needs to be overhauled. But the price and uncertainty and the mortality challenging aspects of a NYC subway ride is barely worth it. To be fair, I only really ever use the subway at night and on weekends. And that's usually when repairs and alternative routes are scheduled. So, maybe it's my timing that sucks. Maybe I should view the subway as having a curfew or a shift in ability. A change in what to expect between certain hours of the day.

Just like that new, unfair and expensive congestion pricing they just instituted in mid-Manhattan for cars, maybe subway pricing can vacillate? What's $2.90 during that day can be a buck-fifty at night and TAKE YOUR CHANCES. That doesn't seem fair, either.

Ergo, I bike (when I should be walking).

You know what I dislike more than trying to bike around cars and pedestrians? Electric bikes! At least I understand I have to share the road with bone-and-brain crushing automobiles and street-challenged people. But some folks on motor bikes take advantage of their obnoxious speed and are super dangerous.

Most "normal bicyclists" (like me) who bike for economic and health reasons are ALSO compromised and threatened by these electric charged rocket spokes. Even more so since we have to share the same lane. I understand why it's important for delivery people to use electric bikes, and I get why it's a preferable for casual bikers, but electric bikes should not be allowed to share the same lane as people who use leg power alone. I might as well be riding in the car lane. I often have to veer into car lanes because most streets don't have those green colored designated bike lanes.

Bottom line: there is no good way for cars and bikes (and pedestrians) to co-exist on the road. It's a risk every time.

Big City transportation is chaotic blend of cars, bicycles, electric bikes, scooters, and pedestrians. Every day we hear about a pedestrian getting hit by a bicycle -- a bicyclist getting sideswiped by an electric bike or a smacked by a scooter or crushed by a car. People jumping turnstiles in front of cops (and now the national guard). Commuters getting pushed in front of trains and killed. Cops getting punched and shot at and killed.

I sometimes wonder why I leave the apartment. I sometimes wonder if it's time to move to Florida with my mom -- a bike ride away from the sea.

Jen Ferguson in Killer Clown mode.

I had a few reservations seeing an immersive murder mystery about a former cop cum clown in a bar. But when Jen Ferguson and I were sat on stage -- asked to wear clown noses and advised "to duck" -- is when we knew we were down (to clown).

CLOWN BAR 2 by Adam Szymkowicz, directed by Andrew Block, and co-produced by Sparkplug and Thin Duke (the producers of my last two plays), staged at The Parkside Lounge, NYC, was one hundred percent phenomenal. The story, characters, acting, songs, jokes, costumes and props were noir-rific!

Winner of four NYC Fringe 2024 awards, fans of Shakes The Clown, Puddles Pity Party, and Sin City, need to run and see the last two performances on Tuesday 4/30 and Friday 5/3. Get your tickets HERE before it sells out!

Calling all comix makers and fans. Please nominate me for “Best Cartoonist” and my comix: COVID COP (or) BILLY DOGMA + JANE LEGIT (or both?) for “Best Single Issue or Story” for the Ringo Awards. 

CLICK HERE

Inking the last page of THE RED HOOK x DEAN HASPIEL

Thanks to Ed Catto, I'm a guest at Ithacon — my first time ever! And this is its 47th year! I’ll be tabling with my girlfriend Jen — who makes rare appearances at comix events. She’ll be selling affordable prints and small original art. I’ll have copies of my recent wares. Commissions upon request.

I’m also doing a panel:

LEAN INTO DEAN
Saturday, April 27, 2024
1:30 - 2:30pm in the Clark Lounge
Emmy and Ringo award winning cartoonist, Dean Haspiel, will talk about his experience with print comics, webcomics, and Kickstarters. He’ll also delve into what it's like to produce franchise comics versus creator owned comics, and the state of the industry with moderator Bob Harrison.

Get tickets and info HERE

See you in the Finger Lakes!

—Dean

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